Compliments & Smiles

Think fast: What do compliments and smiles have in common?

Response: They are free and seldom given.

Think about the last time you were given a compliment. What was it about? Who gave it to you? And how did it make you feel? Although there are a multitude of answers; I'd guess for most compliments were given to you by someone of the opposite sex about something very shallow or general like clothing or hair.

Don't get me wrong- all compliments are nice but when is the last time someone  complimented you? Meaning, provided you with a compliment  regarding  something that only you possess- like your smile, or intelligence, or maybe even your heart?

Now the other part is...when a compliment is given it must also be well received. The last time I was complimented, and yes it was by the opposite sex, I'm admit, I felt a bit awkward as I awaited the additional and typical foolish and out of pocket comments to follow, but they didn't and my awkward response turned into blubbering.

It was then I realized that hand in hand with chivalry, compliments are fading; but only if we let them! 

So what does this mean?  It means each of us should do better with gracefully receiving compliments when they are given and each of us should hand them out like fliers in college because they are free! 

We already tell our friends about the lady with great hair or awesome fashion...but did you tell that lady herself...that her swag-bag was running over?  How great would it be for other women to give you compliments and vice versa?  Perhaps this will balance the times we so readily tell folks about themselves; for example when it comes to feeling disrespected.

And let's push the limit with "homie-lover/friend", try requesting more compliments  beyond our women-ly characteristics. We cannot continue to make it so easy for the suggestive comment regarding sexuality and related context. Instead let's strive for compliments that are truly original, that are deeper than superficial offerings.

Maybe with a bit of repetition with these few approaches compliments will be more common and truly appreciated. Maybe with practice this can breath life into chivalry.  Then again maybe it won't. Instead it may only make you smile, but I think all these possibilities make it well worth it! 

So I challenge you: compliment 1 women a week for the remainder of the summer, receive your next 5 compliments gracefully, and shower your "homie-lover/friend" with compliments of substance to maybe start a trend.