Humble Who

This weekend I put into action a hard lesson, it's truly one that I tried to avoid. It was my decision to move back home with my parents.

It was a hard decision because it wasn't at all what I saw for my life going into damn near thirty. As I swallowed my pride I felt like I was taking a huge step backwards- not just failing myself but also staining the path of excellence I have built for important youngsters in my life.

My mother reminded me: sometimes you have to take one step back to later take 3 steps forward. My sister reminded me: you haven't failed at all your making a huge sacrifice for bigger goals. My father reminded me: our doors are always open but since you aren't failing I'll gladly be accepting your monthly rent at a friends and family discount of course.

And all of them are right. I'm not failing in the typical sense; I still have a job and can afford to do nice things for myself, my friends, and my family.  I am taking a step

Back with faith that huge leaps and bounds forward are coming. And yes- this is a sacrifice that I de ides to make.

So as I embark upon this new chapter I'm filled with mixed emotions; of all the emotions I've experience on this emotional roller coaster the word humbling stands out. That's what best describes this transition, a humbling decision indeed; where there is not a termination date in sight, only dreams and goals surrounded by faith and accompanied by hard work exists.

In reflection, I think of so many other peers who have had to humble themselves. Making decisions that are best for the long run as opposed to the right now. And I applauded and supported them then, not knowing that beyond humbling is sacrifice, fear of failing, and of course judgments of others. But as I too sign up for my turn on this ride in life I have a new found respect. 

So for anyone else who is tottering with their options, weight them all- the good ones, bad ones, and hard ones too! Make a decision based on what's best for you which might not be what feels best to you.  Be mindful of your emotional decisions versus ones made while rational. Know that you aren't the first to regroup and won't be the last. And ultimately be reminded that without question, adulting is hard.

Friendship

Friendship is one of the most important relationships around. A friend can be found in any other relationship but it's not vice versa. Friendship is the basis or a key component of romantic relationships; and sets apart relationships with family members as well as co-workers or mentors. 

I would tell anyone that I'm a great friend because I don't take the job lightly; and like any other position in life-failure and/or being mediocre is simply not an option. Friendship over time is intriguing because with age we clearly get wiser;and, although some labels matter less and less other labels matter more and more.  

The label of friendship is no different. Think of your friends from kindergarten or elementary school...those requirements and criteria were minimal. You could be a bully today and a friend in the swings tomorrow. As a young adult things look vastly different, and for most quality over quantity is key in filling the position.

But here is some food for thought/ why is it so hard to make new friends- particularly in adult life? Not just associates or acquaintances, but legit true friends. My first thought is the position is largely filled.. so do we have a friendship maximum or limit? Or perhaps friendship itself appears less genuine amongst tasks of networking and achieving higher status with like minded peers?

Remember the saying and song: " Make new friends and keep the old, one is silver and the other gold. A circle's round, it has no end- that's how long I want to be your friend" Which one do you wanna be? Old or new? Silver or gold? And how many pieces of old and new silver and gold and jewelry do you want or have? Most importantly do any of these labels even matter?

We all know - beauty is in the eye of the beholder but maybe friendship is too! So take the job seriously and know that true friendship is irreplaceable; a gem that is precious and never-ending.

Share the Wealth

Recently I was talking to a likeminded lady who's lives in Cali; where clearly the cost of living as well as the assumed day to day lifestyle varies greatly from the one I'm more aquatinted with in good ole Atlanta, GA.

In conversation about financial goals she made the following statement: "I want to make money, while I sleep". 

The first time I heard this comment was in a sitcom, "Survivor's Remorse" which is about an African American family raised on the wrong side of Boston who then relocated as the youngest son signed a basketball contract in Atlanta. There episode of "making money while they slept" included landing an endorsement deal; more specifically one that highlighted them as a major stockholder.

Is this the concept that comes to mind for most individuals; particularly ones that are not in the field of business? For me this was definitely the case.  And let's be real- the remedy for most questions we don't know is a quick Google search; however, with a minimal foundation in basics of investments, stocks, and the like; Google quickly resulted in begin defeated. I didn't know where to start and didn't have concrete questions to ask; Bt my goal was clear: what are the steps to make money while I sleep too.

When my likeminded confidant made the same statement it was obvious that her goal was the same, but her research had equipped her with a plan that had much more to offer to anyone who was listening. Here were her pearls of wisdom:

- There is no one method that will suite you 100% so while doing your research be true to yourself by finding something that you can commit to and cast a large net for valuable resources so you can then develop a best suited plan for you- basically...read...ALOT! 

- Trial and error is scary especially when it comes to coins and cash so start smart and small then make adjustments

- Investing is really about investing in yourself- stocks and bonds are just one common route but there are others such as rewards cards, high interest savings accounts like DiscoverIT or Capital One QuickSilver , and general bank memberships with banks that have limited overhead cost like Ally or Charles Schwab

Of course these are only the snowflakes to possibly begin a snowball effect towards wealth; but more than the specific ideas she shared the largest shared golden nugget was in the act of giving that was then received. 

Often times people want to do better but don't know how. The don't know how to start, or who to ask, or even know what questions to ask. Other times individuals share a pearl but it rests on deaf ears as it's not received as helpful or maybe not even acknowledge for its full potential.  

Where do you fall? Are you depositing into others your learned wisdom? Are you assuming your knowledge is "common" and therefore opting to not share? Are you keeping tips to yourself because the first few people seemed unbothered as well as unenriched by what you had to offer? If this is you, don't give up someone needs to learn this lesson.

On either end- those seeking more information while flirting with the feelings of being overwhelmed or defeated- stay focused. Keep you eyes, ears, and heart open. And don't be fooled, you likely still have information to share.

No matter your category, I challenge you to share one financial goal with someone and attempt to exchange a tip for financial growth! So go forth, share, listen and prosper!