Praise is for Kids

Today I became a bit frustrated at work- nothing specific happened so much as I was just super busy. Recently, and truly for the first time in my career, I realized there are more tasks on my to - do list than the amount of time within my work week to do them. As such, I initially thought I wasn't being proactive enough or thought maybe I wasn't being effective with my time. My initial solution was to blur boundaries so I took work home with me and skipped lunch with peers for lunch at my desk.

This evening as I was driving to a meeting; I was running late because of work and running even later because Atlanta traffic is stupid especially in the rain and darkness. So again I became frustrated that I was late and still had work to do; I felt like the cost outweighed the benefit. I called my mom because she tends to bring me back to center and keep me on track for the bigger lesson; today she just kept me motivated to just attend the meeting late; she reminded me that life happens and validated that traffic was stupid and I was surely not the only person that was going to arrive late. Of course- she was right.  What she didn't tell me was that because I was late I would have to sit in the very front, miss the light refreshments (chicken nuggets from chick-fil-a), and be clueless with the activity that I had walked in on; but I waited and regrouped and refocused.

As that specific activity concluded and discussion began a lady in the back commented: " I noticed recently I wasn't invited to a work meeting because it was not about my project, but after the meeting I was debriefed and provided an additional deliverable,from that project. She stated she looked to her coworker who sat nearby and was assigned to the very project she just received as an addition, and realized that coworker didn't have anything in addition. I noticed then, that getting more work meant i was doing my work right."

As she spoke I realized the reason I needed to attend this meeting, it was to hear this comment and be taught a lesson: praise is for kids. Parents use praise to shape their children. Teachers and professors use praise to encourage correct responses. Peers at work give praise to keep each other motivated. But superiors in the work place provide very limited praise based staments; instead I would argue that within the the workplace supervisors are much more likely to chastise or criticize than to provide positive feedback. Instead it appears for some, that supervisor show praise through action. So in this moment I realized not only do I have great job security, but that by this increased work load I'm obviously trusted by my overseer; and lastly that it is ok to have things left on your to -do list, in fact with great workers it's almost expected.

When is the last time you were verbally praised at work? Does this matter to you? Was it due to completing your actual job duties or in reference to doing something extra or outside of your duties? When was the last time a supervisor provided praise through action toward you?  If you are a supervisor- is this you? Are you aware that this is or isn't you? 

Saturday of Service

Although this post is a little late (about a week); I took the opportunity to be active in my community and make a positive impact over MLK Weekend 2016; for a day of service, which highlights his actions as we illustrate our continued efforts to thrive within our communities and take advantage to do so with our holiday from work and/or school.

It's interesting because in hindsight I don't recall very many individuals around me speaking volumes about this additional factor supporting the well know national holiday.  Although I struggle with community service opportunities focused upon the great outdoors, I'm so allergic to being outside I often think I should live in a bubble; evenstill, this year I found ways to actively contribute.

Last Saturday I toured the National Center for Human and Civil Rights; more specifically I participated as a member of Junior League Atlanta (JLA) within their pilot focus group related to generational poverty (to which I will elaborate within its own individual  post). Although it was my 3rd time touring I still truly saw portions of the exhibit for the first time. Having a guide for the tour was helpful as she helped us view the center as a whole, through the lens of MLK weekend, and with the focus of generational poverty.

I continued my day by participating as one of several alums on a panel for my undergraduate institution, Georgia Tech. The panel was specifically geared towards minority students seeking graduate degrees. I was apparently one of the youngest alum on panel and was one of very few having career experience within the non-profit sector.  Prospective students had several great questions and statements: 

"As a women of color with stellar education accolades how do you handle office politics and related ideals such as "the angry black black women?"

"To be present amongst this panel it's clear there are several ways to arrive at the same finish line- which is success, how do you measure success?"

"How was the transition from an undergraduate HBCU to a more diverse institution?"

Although individually these questions/statements prompted on hand conversation and feedback in the moment; for me as a room filled with a variety of backgrounds, hopeful goals and developed plans we all felt connected and shared a genuine moment of truthfulness as well as impact.  

I tend to have Saturday Shenanigans instead of Saturdays of Service but this one was well spend and left me wanting to give more, share more, and be more active within my communities.  As such I challenge you to make a deliberate positive impact. Challenge yourself to serve whenever you can and wherever you choose. I challenge myself to do the same, and hope you too rise to the occasion.

Brunch So Hard: Negril Village

Who doesn't like a good brunch right? (RIGHT) Welp until recently I reserved brunch for out of town excursions be they girls trips or family vacations.Not anymore, I don't even know where I came up with this unwritten and random "rule".  Taking good eating to another level with breakfast related cuisine; I've decided to make brunch a much more common occurrence- locally or otherwise. I mean who needs an occasion to eat great food?! Going forward be on the lookout for "brunch so hard" posts- (this is more of a public declaration to hold myself  accountable rather than anything else).

This edition is: Negril Village. Negril Village is a Caribbean inspired restaurant located within the midtown area of Atlanta. Just 2 quick turns from the interstate it's easy to find; however being in the midtown area, parking is often a challenge. There is a small parking lot directly next door to the restaurant but my understanding is it's typically packed! Luckily there is tons of street parking with manageable hourly rates; after all a quick blocks walk can't hurt after a carb filled meal.  On my visit I parked about 3 blocks down and since it was Sunday, it was free to park! 

Although this was not my first time dinning there for brunch it was a totally different experience.  I'm assuming partially because it was a Sunday in the midst of NFL Playoffs and partial because it's MLK WEEKEND  - the vibe was the same but overall there was an extra level of excitement within the place.

As such, the ambiance was LIT! There was an MC/ DJ  as well as a small live band. I arrived a little after noon for a noon reservation; reservations I strongly suggest be the plan for anyone else seeking quick seating. Just know your entire party must be present to be seated, its the key to getting seated quickly.  

Upon taking our seats,  my party and I were quickly reminded of state regulations which indicates alcohol can't be sold or served until 1230 on Sundays; and at 1230 my first of many endless mimosas was served. I opted for the passion fruit mimosas which paired well with my entree selection of jerk chicken and pineapple infused waffles. In particular this chicken and waffle pairing is served with a sweet cream- use it; it's much more than decoration for cute plating.

On the other occasion I enjoyed Negril Village it was a Saturday around the same time; however the setting was much more relaxed. You could hear laughter and conversation with smooth grooves setting the ambiance in the background. 

Both times the food and service was great! I'd definitely recommend this restaurant to anyone seeking a Caribbean flair on brunch or a serve to the typical bottomless mimosa.

*drink responsibly *eat merrily

Netflix & Chill: Jessica Jones

It appears most people are aware of and have taken part in the widespread phenomenon referred to as "Netflix & Chill"; perhaps it wasn't Nextflix for you but spanning from On Demand programs to DVR as well as HBOgo to Amazon Prime the basics are the same across the board: watch, chill, repeat.

In my latest "Netflix & Chill" session I stumbled across the Jessica Jones Series. To my knowledge it's a Netflix Original series meaning it only airs on Netflix; similar to how Orange is the New Black started out.  This series is also a Marvel Series which boils down to: it's got superheroes; Jessica Jones is one herself! 

Without giving too much away about the series, which I'm halfway thru in just 2 weekends, she's trying to use her powers for good and attempting to live a regular human life with the exception of "taking out" Kilgrave which appears to be the villain. So far this series has everything from love to scandal and lost paired with a bunch of twists and turns throughout the plot.

As the story continues to reel me in; I can't resist the question: if I could choose a super power what would it be? And would I use it for good or evil? 

On first thought the latter question seems pretty easy- I'd be a "good guy"; however let's not forget that so often "good guys" sometimes finish last and often times go rogue which leads to a pathway of the villain lifestyle.  On the other hand if you pick a villain life going in, you know what you're up against from the beginning; you'd likely prepare and move forward with your ultimate plan. However I'm a firm believer that in the end good always conquers evil; it's just the natural order of things. 

The more puzzling question is which superpower would I pick? Of course I don't think i can recall any movie or book/story where individuals  head out to order their superpower similar to how one can order a sandwich at a shop. But what if they could?! Would people take the invitation to do so seriously? I mean- often times, superheroes live a life filled with strife. 

Today, I would rise to the occasion or at least try my very best. I think I currently have the mentality of a hero everyday so if asked to become a superhero I'd be up for the challenge. I'd request the power of invisibility, I think this would give me the upper hand in lots of situations, those superhero related and in the context of everyday.

What do you think? Would you answer the call or ignore the invitation to become a super? What would your requested superpower be?  Do you think you would do good or evil? 

P.S. Don't forget to check out Jessica Jones.

Romeo & Juliet

Recently I had the opportunity to attend the Romeo & Juliet ballet at the wonderful Fox Theatre. It was a great experience. I had previously attended a couple of other plays but nothing quite like this. After all this one is a classic based on world renowned literature.

The performance itself was artful, beautiful, and appeared effortless.  There was nothing less than top notch talent on the stage.  These things were obvious observations; however in regards to the storyline itself, I was a little absentminded, baffled, and confused (note to self and friends- next time review the storyline before showtime).  Admittedly so, I was a little lost on a few scenes in the First Act; but luckily I recalled a few major turning points as the story progressed and during intermission noted the cliff notes in the program to follow along so the Second Act was much more informative and enjoyable.

I will also admit that Romeo and Juliet isn't my favorite love story or preferred piece of  Shakespearian literature (Othello stole my heart). But I have always thought the story itself was powerful; one of true love and poor circumstance.

However, as I watched, and perhaps it was the all white costumes or the continual silence as nothing but emotion through action and music played out; but I thought this epic love story was truly a gruesome tragedy. And moreover pondered how many school curriculums still included. I mean in a world and time of cyber-bullying and public shaming is this book still appropriate; can today's teens truly handle and conceptualize its content.

I wondered why today I felt so moved. Perhaps as a teen myself I overlooked the tragedy for what it is. Or perhaps because there was an active leader, the teacher, to guide the reading and assist with proper processing of the events that took place. Or maybe I just thought I was immune to feeling a love so strong that to not have them at all is worse than living.

Have you ever loved someone so deeply? Have they loved you back the same? Do you know of anyone who falls into these categories? I only know of Prim and Peta, were the odds in their favor...

Hello...my name is ___(Tamara)___

We all know the proper way to introduce ourselves whether it's when conducting business or being cordial in a relaxed setting. Recently, I was talking to a group and a hot topic came up: atypical names.

Initially the conversation made me think of a not to long ago, now gone cold, hot topic; Raven-Symonè. This childhood television show star, now talk show host, had lots to say on a segment of talk show "The View" when speaking on segment "Are You Judged by Your Name".  Mainly stating that some names she herself would not entertain for possible employment under her; then later she added  she herself has likely been overlooked or possibly discriminated against of not for her name then some other non-changing quality like her skin or size.  

Going back to the early 2000s the media placed a spotlight on names being literally viewed as "black" or "white" and how this perception, on a resume, became the reality of that potential employer. The results were clear; indicating that even résumés denoted with "black" names including  more experience were passed over for "white" named resumes with lesser experience. 

Comments on the research was popular.  For some the take away was simply choose a culture neutral name.  For others it was choose ethnic names and ensure appropriate milestones through education and experiences take place. 

As the inital conversation unfolded about names my group decided on the top 5 most remembered :

1. La--a (La-dash-a)
2. Abcde (Ab-sa-duh)
3. Dmaggélic (Da-ma-ja-leak)
4. Bles'sed
5. How'rianna

For me I think: I love my name; but it has been mine my whole life! But when I think of parents giving their children names to create uniqueness or as a label for a positive self-fulfilling prophecy, I'm torn. Luckily for me I don't have children yet- but what a huge responsibility; after growing a life to name it for greatness and help it to flourish in this world. (Brushes off brow)

A reference that's old as time and relates to names was presented in a classic by Shakespeare. 

                           ’Tis but thy name that is my enemy:
                                    Thou art thyself, though not a Montague,
                                          What’s Montague? It is not hand nor foot,
                                                  Nor arm nor face. O be some other name
                                                              belonging to a man!
                                                                      What’s in a name? That which we call a rose,
                                                                                  By any other word would smell as sweet.'

Makes me remember that a name can be just that- a name; we don't even give it to ourselves. A name is who we are called but not who we are and not who we are destined to be. So go be great! 

Tuesday Blues

Today is Tuesday and yesterday was Monday (no brainer right). Well for me today was the first day back to work after a festive and joyful holiday season in the work place. It was interesting and I must admit even amusing to see lots of selfies yesterday with tired faces and grumpy captions; most of them referring to the Monday Blues in one form or another.

But today as I began my work week, I wondered: "Is there a such thing as Tuesday Blues? If so I don't think most people have heard of it. Upon arrival at work I was immediately the winner of the grumpy cat award; seems like I was a day late with my scowl and burrowed brow as I braved the coldfrom parking to cubical and removed my Eskimo wear.  Meanwhile all I'm thinking is yesterday while everyone else was a grumpy cat I know wouldn't have been the winner of this award. Now don't get me wrong my workplace isn't a judgment zone and it's not like I'm penalized when I arrive without a smile like a walking Chick-Fil-a member; but I definitely needed some time to shake the blues off and get in the back to work groove.

The thought of the Tuesday Blues got me to thinking and I contacted to my good friend Google to explore the concept. Although the my search was brief it was clear- there seems to be little information about having the blues on a Tuesday. To my pleasant surprise social media on the other hand has a good bit or memes and images which reminded me that I'm not alone.  After all, social media is the voice of the true population.  All in all I'm happy today is over and looking forward to tomorrow--HUMPDAY! 

Proposals: Kneelers POV

Today I watched a reality television show with my roommate and a major moment happened: a proposal.  It was really interesting to see on the show because although I do believe reality television is loosely scripted at minimum, when the moment took place it looked and felt genuine.  

Just a little background: the couple on this show has been together for several years and over the last few seasons the next step in their relationship (AKA marriage) has been a huge focal point. In a previous season he stated he had commitment issues but was willing to work on them, with a therapist, to overcome the problem because marriage was his true goal with her.  Also in a previous season he gave her a ring on a string which caused an uproar; this promoted her towards a verbal ultimatum of a proposal within her time limit or cutting all ties. This verbalized time limit expired but she continued to weather the storm as she saw him taking smaller steps towards developing long term commitment with her: a dog, her name tattooed on his body, etc.

Well tonight was the night! The episode really took the time to build the drama between these two on the topic and didn't not disappoint with providing lots of behind the scenes snippets of his preparation for the big wurst ion. He was shown planning the location, his fashion,and coordinating times with others to be there to unknowingly share the moment.  He was also shown discussing which should come first: the speech or the ring.

As I was watching it was interesting because as a female, who will eventually be proposed to, I never really thought about the possible amount of planning by the party doing the actual proposal. The more I thought about it the more I began to to think: is the proposal about one partners wants then the wedding about the other partners? 

I mean I've often heard females say: the wedding is about me.  So does that then imply then the proposal is about their mate? After all, with this episode it appears as though lots of thought and preparation comes into play for the proposal as well- who knew?!  Of course I'm sure this varies from person to person and couple to couple across various culture and lifestyles; but definitely made me think! #foodforthought #vanderpump

Food For Thought

I'm kicking off the new year right, no this is not a "new year, new me" but rather an "I've missed blogging and writing freely" situation.  Over the past year I've spent lots of time brainstorming and reflecting and even doing a little research on how I can blog better and more specifically what I want this blog to be about.  Long story short- after a full year I've learned  a whole lot about other blogs but still didn't have much clarity with what I wanted.

Just today I realized: this is my blog and I do what I please. I really sat down and brainstormed all the things I liked from before and all the things I didn't, and the result was as simply to simplify! How simple is that.  This is not a research forum or ploy for writing newspaper columns; it's just a fun hobby. And with that I decided to begin sharing my "Food For Thought". Why not?! I mean I hear, read, and watch things daily that truly deserve a second look or deeper reflection. I have a great functional mind filled with randomness, ideas, thoughts, goals, and dreams; but seriously who doesn't?! After all, how often do you have thoughts that cause a double take or prompt a quick google search- for me this happens quite often, and going forward you're invited to a front row seat of the think tank. Believe me the struggle of figuring out life is still real but with this seat you get an inside glimpse to some inner most thoughts and hopefully some thought provoking conversation💭💡😎