What do you do X 2

I randomly started talking to a lady while out and about recently. As we waited for time to pass we struck up a typical conversation; she asked: What do you do...Where are you from...What do you do? 

Now this first- what do you do is how I think the mid 20s to early 30s age group communicates. What do you do as in your job or career. Responses tell you a lot about a person as some lead with the organization or company they work for while others lean towards sharing their title; still some others utilize this moment to highlight the sector of employment or define what they do daily.  And of course you have the talker who verbally checks all these boxes without skipping a beat.  For me it depends on the setting as my career is "heavy"; I usually just say I work with kids or at a local child advocacy center.  I've learned stating in a forensic interviewer lends to lots of questions and although I love my job I don't love commanding the conversation by talking so in-depth about myself.

And clearly where are you from...is where are you from. However for me this question prompts follow up questions for clarity. Do you mean where I was born or lived the most or even where I lived the longest. As a military brat I never know what location is best suited so I tend to say I'm a military brat and await follow up questions. Again I love my background, my mom my hero, but I don't love taking over the conversation.

Now this second- What do you do is literally in reference to what you do- when you're not at work; so what do you do for fun?! It's interesting because so seldom do I get to this part of the conversation; but when I do i'm always stomped. To be quite honest- I have no idea what I do. I mean I work and sometimes feel like outside of my career and completing required needs to survive- like sleeping,  eating, and maintaining my apartment through chores and budgeting....what is there consistently time for doing anything extra?! 

So I've taken it upon myself to do more fun things. I used to literally live for the weekends but i'm turning over a new leaf. I'm watching crappy tv during the week, blogging and reading more, and of course being more social with friends, family, and networks! 

What do you do- for fun? For those of you who know without a doubt what you do- when's the last time you did something out of the ordinary? For those of you who have to brainstorm before answering...try being spontaneous! It's hard I know but oh so rewarding! Don't worry I'm not here with judgement but rather in the trench between both book ends- so I'm challenging myself too. Challenging myself to get out and talk more as well as do more. #letsgetit

GALentine's Day

Hello all you love birds! Happy Belated Cupid's day. Because you are all lovely I hope it was nothing less than what you imagined, which is no doubt what you each deserve.

Regardless of how your love was packaged or how you packaged sharing your love with others- I have a general question: have you ever been shamed for being single on Valentine's Day?  I hadn't really thought about it but I'm sure this can appear in a variety of ways; from close friend having sympathy for you in your solitude to restaurant host and hostess giving you and your all female crew the side eye.

I say who cares?! And I also say- per social media GALentine's day was in full effect all weekend long for Valentine's Day 2016. I almost like GALentine's day more than the initial premise of Valentine's Day.  I mean after all love is meant to be given, shared, and received all day every day so it should be shown all day every day not just on a Hallmark holiday right?! I think GALentine's day was low key started to give a title, therefore removing shame from Valentine's Day.

So instead of being shamed for hanging with your gal-pals on Valentine's Day; those couples that only share their love and affection and illustrate romance on February 14h should really be shameful. What are y'all doing the other 364 days of the year? And are your actions on Valentine's Day genuine or about "putting on" to not be judged by others? Perhaps I've gotten it all wrong and Valentine's day is a time for stale love to be revived?  Only time will tell.

No matter how you look at it. No matter what box you check- single, dating, married, or otherwise; I think the biggest keys are to love yourself, love those around you, not be a love- hater, or a singles- shamer. With that being said- I love you all! 

War & Peace

So I have been watching this mini-television series called War and Peace which takes place during the early 1800s; more specifically the show focuses on the time of war revolving around Napoleon's Reign.

So far- the storyline is great however in a recent segment there was a challenge between 2 good friends. A little back story: a heir becomes a Count who takes in his child-friend who is now a Solider. The Count was married but it's implied he and his misses never consummated their vows. Long story short,  the Countess began having an affair with the Soldier. When the Count caught word he challenged the Soldier- to a duel.

This struck me as being so different from the way relationships are run today. Present day approaches tend to reflect the idea that the 2 engaged in a defined relationship should communicate the issues and find peace; however in the past it's clear such matters could be handled by 2 men; indirectly excluding the female involved.

More importantly this challenge was a duel which implies the winner is the only one left standing. Talk about death before dishonor! This intrigues me still as current times portray too many instances of men being boys and ladies "wearing the pants". By no means am I wishing to teleport back a couple hundred years,  but what a wonder it would be for a lover that would die for me; without hesitation or question.

If you haven't tuned into this series- please do?! Or up the ante and read the book it's based upon.  What do you think? Was love during the 1800s truer than love now? Are unions still based upon the same morals such death and dishonor? Where do you fall- and what do you seek?

Negro History Week

So I know I'm a few days late...but oh how I LOVE February.  And no it's not because of Valentine's Day but it is related to love; black love to be exact.

February has always interested me. With a quick glance over a calendar anyone can note the several "red letter days"; be they hallmark or otherwise: there's the aforementioned Valentine's Day in addition to Groundhog Day, President's Day, a few highlighted days related to Mardi Gras, and the list continues.  One thing you won't see is Fredrick Douglass' birthday, February 14th, which is an anchor for black history month; which is what truly draws my attention to the shortest month of the year.

Black History Month initially started as Negro History Week- which was held the second week of February because of both Douglass' and Lincoln's birthdays.  Negro History Week was primarily launched as an effort to emphasize teaching related to the topic.  Over time, enthusiasm spread and before too long a week of education and excitement expanded to a month!

I'm not sure what this looked like back then, but I do recall that during my school days- Black History Month was simply reduced to a project on a black person.  I recall most often peers researching the same and/or common household names.  No-one ever expanded the list of VIPs or provided random unknown facts; basically keeping black history aligned with mainstream ideas and well-known acknowledgments. 

As an adult, at least in my current city Atlanta- there is constant encouragement and support of black history. Within my family we challenge ourselves to extend our knowledge of black history each year during February.  For the past few years each person within my immediate family has picked a topic to dive into. We have done reading novels and poetry to watching movies and documentaries.  I've found it fruitful individually and as a unit;learning from one another and expanding our thoughts, often times interjecting personal relate-able experiences. 

I realized this is a deliberate way to access my familes past and to learn from their heart felt experiences; especially the touchy ones- the ones that anger them to recollect, or the one where a re-caption of words and events visually pains them to share out loud.  With this family challenge we commit ourselves to sharing and learning about those before us but also about ourselves.

When's the last time you brushed up on your black history? Join in on my families challenge- what are your black history goals this month?! This time around I'm watching movies...suggestions are welcomed, stay tuned, and happy history-ing🤓