HURRY UP & WAIT

HURRY UP...and wait

In a society that is based on instant gratification it's hard to wait sometimes. But interestingly enough we wait all the time!

How many of us have rushed to the airport just to wait for hours in the security line or better yet in the waiting area to board a plane?  Or how often is it that one speeds down the interstate only to wait in line to park, then wait again in another line to be seated for dinner or even worst- to wait in line to enter the club/lounge/etc.

Where do we learn this rule of hurrying? Where did it come from and why goes it exist?

Sounds like it's just the way of life right? I too totally agree! But no-one ever taught us this. Nowhere is it written that this "hurrying up to wait" with sprinkles of instant gratification is what daily life has to offer. But yet, this is what is consistently endured by most.

So where is the struggle in this?  The struggle is in accepting that this is the culture of our society. How many people get road rage with the one car that's going the minimum speed limit on the highway in the far left lane? Or get annoyed with the little old couple cruising along in the grocery store the speed of a snail? Only to bypass them to wait in line where a customer clearly had 25 items or more in the 15 items or less express checkout line.

Why do we become upset in these scenarios? There are other lanes on the road to go around- right?  There are other check-out lines in the store- right? Isn't there inevitably just more waiting to
be endured  once we leave or get to the next destination anyways?  More importantly is there any way around all of this?  I mean after-all; we all commute on the interstate and don't we all need to get groceries?

So even more challenging, the greater struggle is in overcoming the emotional anger or annoyance in these varied moments throughout the day.

To this I challenge you to turn your mind!  (by challenging you I really mean- follow the hyperlink)

That Moment

"My Moment": DJ Drama feat. 2 Chainz, Meek Mill & Jeremih


"Tired of livin’ day to day like everything is alright
Every night just one thing on my mind
Just waiting on that moment
Waiting on my moment"

Ain't this the truth?! We've all gotten the same message more or less growing up: stay in school, stay off drugs, get a job, have a family, live happily ever after. Maybe not told to follow this order specifically, but the common denominator is the same: success.

The question then becomes: how does one define this success? What's your plan to achieve it? What do you do when this plan falls apart? This is the struggle; especially when you are told and comprehend that doing the right thing or following specific steps will yield successful results. And true enough, for some this holds true; but for most- it doesn't! And then what?

Then- we struggle. We struggle because we are lost and have no more steps to take. We have made a plan and followed it the best we can. We stay in school, stay off drugs, we mature into responsible adults.  The problem occurs when plans goes beyond just you. The turning point is where this life plan includes others in any shape, form, or fashion: a partner for a family, a connect for a career instead of just a job , help to pass classes, money so hustling and scheming don't seem to be the only option?  Whatever the it is- when it goes beyond just you, there is a likelihood for struggling.

Randomly, I heard this song and it stuck!  As I currently find myself at this crossroads, I noted I too am waiting for "that moment". But as I listen to the words of this hook I wonder: what exactly does this "moment" look and feel like? Where can I find it or hurry it to fruition? Are there any shortcuts?  And what do I do in the mean time? 

These questions are rhetorical in some sense, yet in another- they need resolution.  I clearly do not have the answers and do not know where to find them- so for now this struggle will continue; not consuming me but motivating me as I attempt to grow as a person and strive for the common denominator of success.  As the last verse of the same song echos:

"Since life ain’t promised tomorrow
Live it up, live it up, live it up
Be a fool to come this far- to
Give it up, give it up, give it up
Oh no, I won’t- 
give it up, give it up, give it up
Until I have it all!"

Struggles

Struggles- they are REAL

It’s interesting… I initially made the decision to develop a blog with a specific goal in mind and I looked over the current set of entries there is a bit of a disconnect.  However, like most individuals the “new year, new you” energy surge caught me in its grasp.  As I entered into the next week, I ran into a few more noteworthy struggles; most often at home and at work which prompted this whole reflection.  

Interestingly, I attended a mid-week church service with fusionATL .  I thought his first sermon of the new year would be enlightening and perhaps start another series focused on “temptations of sex” or “secrets” or “sacrifice”- but this particular service was not a series at all but rather a single service with a most powerful message.  

The sermon- titled” Why not 1000” introduced ideal related to being a Christian, having faith, and being obedient.

This isn’t a blog with a focus on God or spiritually, so what does this have to do with my reflecting and getting back to the overall focus of” the struggle is real.”  Although this message seems direct there was portion of the sermon that related to individuals struggles which resonated with me and helped me to regain focus of this blog.  

My current and most prevalent struggles are stillness, silence, and stagnation.    What do these things have in common (other the obvious- that they all start with an “S”)? They are a struggle in every aspect of my life- from work to home-life overall and individual growth.  For me stillness is best summed up in the saying “Let your heart be still”.  In this statement the idea translates to stopping or pausing your emotions and staying on course with the first plan developed, refusing to scramble and make new plans or adjustments jaded and overcome by emotions in the moment.  

Stillness is much related to stagnation; and to sum up stagnation- I adopted the following quote in college “even cats don’t prefer stale (stagnant) water”.  No disrespect, but if cats do not want stale (and stagnate) water then who is going to want a stagnant employee, friends, lover, etc?!  As I grew up this quote often propelled me to go the extra mile to reach out to others and continually try to better myself in one respect or another.  Oddly, enough- a good friend of mind recently shared her thoughts with me and she noted the following: All movement is not progress.  Lack of movement does not necessarily mean stagnation.  Learn to grow where you are and enjoy your current situation until God sees fit to move/ elevate you. HIS plan is perfect.

Lastly, shhhhh- silence.  The silence I’m referencing here is silence of the mind; stopping or slowing all of one’s thoughts.  This is not silence like the moments before you go to sleep, rather the moments of prayer or spiritual focus.  It is these moments where time, to me, seems everlasting and slowly passes.  In a world of instant gratification and a bunch of rushing and hurrying- it is no wonder why silence is golden, no matter how hard it is for me to achieve it.

What are your struggles?  I have shared mine with others and will continue to strive to overcome them…I’ll keep you posted because we all know- the struggle is real!

"I AM, I WILL"

I AM, I WILL

These 4 words hold so much POWER! Be they simple to remember they carry such a heavy load.  In this layout they are open ended, which makes them all the more powerful.  It is these words that will carry me through THE STRUGGLE.

These words will be the beginning to my days and the encouragement through my day when feeling discouraged, belittled, stuck, or deflated.  These words are the bases of an ever changing cheerleading statement.  Cheerleading statements are implemented and understood in the psychological approach of Dialectical Behavior Therapy and there are 3 types:

• Statements that provide courage to act effectively
• Statements that help in preparing for a situation- helping you focus
• Statements that counteract myths about interpersonal behaviors

Similarly, these words are much like a mantra for myself.  Although mantras are most often implemented in the mediation rituals of Hinduism and Buddhism; in its most simplistic definition, mantra is a word or phrase that is repeated often and expresses someone's basic beliefs.  For me, this mantra is an utterance that holds spiritual power to recenter my thinking.

These 4 words are also an affirmation, or at least the basis to a multitude of positive affirmations.  Positive affirmations are positive statements which you repeat to yourself which describe how you want to be.  In theory, you receive these affirmations and become part of  a self-fulfilling prophecy  as the statements come to fruition. The most powerful affirmations are clear, specific, and concise as well as paired with action.  These powerful positive affirmation are based on 3 ideals:

• I am: A statement of who you are.
• I can: A statement of your potential.
• I will: A statement of positive change in your life.

No matter which method of thought you follow- ranging from soft science of psychology to religious practices of Hinduism or even the fast growing hard science of brain scans and neurology- positive thinking is at minimum helpful and potentially powerful beyond what we imagine. 

Imagine & Inspired

In continued preparation with getting into the swing of the new year- I tried something new this year: I created a vision board.  I have heard a lot of talk around these vision boards from various circles of people including friends, co-workers, associates and others.  I figured it couldn't hurt what the year will bring me and it might just be fun- so I gave it a try.

Let me preface the remainder of this post by stating- I am not a big arts and crafts person.  My idea of being crafty ranges from making charts and graphs in excel to making a drink at a bar that is just as colorful as it is tasty.  

Per the advice of a friend, I ventured to the local hobby lobby where I collected all my crafty materials.  This was my first time visiting the store and it's pretty overwhelming.  It's like the DSW of crafts or a mega Auto Zone of home decor materials!  I walked around a little while and as I grew annoyed with all the items around me asked for help.  Staff was more than willing to help me with my project and in no time I was collecting all types of scrap-booking paper and boarders with glitter and stickers too, to transform my typical everyday cork-board.

Once back to my house, I set the stage for what appeared to be a craft party! I had cider and some football playing with friends and family as I perused Cosmopolitan, Better Homes and Gardens, Essence, Fitness, Southern Living, and Vacation magazine for pictures.

This took HOURS of my time, but my finished product is amazing and I had a bunch of fun.  The process itself was filled with self reflection and the finalized board encompasses my personality.  In summation: I imagine I will become a first time home-buyer and take steps to further my career while spending my free time traveling, getting healthy, and enjoying new experiences.  I was inspired to complete a 2014 "bucket list" which lists the various places and activities I'd like to experience in the next 360 days.  

Ultimately, even if I do not achieve all the tasks on my vision board- I have already gained the following: " I am, I will" It was through self reflection and the development of this board that I was reminded of all the qualities I possess and all the things I am able to accomplish as well as a way to remind myself to be positive and optimistic.

So, in closing.  If you have never made a vision board you should try it out! :)

Inhale 2013, Exhale 2014

Soooo-
 
Im a little late on this post; but yesterday I went to my first EVER yoga class.  I was really nervous and excited to try something new and I'm happy I did.  With a general internet search and checking some references, not to mention a pretty good NEWBIE discount- I signed myself up at Southside Yoga Studio.
 
 
The class was YINYOGA which was based on holding poses and being relaxed; while learning to not battle with your ego.  This was a very hard battle for me as I am typically your "no pain, no gain" kinda physically active person.  The class was challenging physically and mentally and I truly felt a little lighter as I exited. 
 
As class was being taught- the instructor suggested we focus on breathing.  More specifically, she suggested we reflect withing ourselves as we breathed and " inhaled 2013 and exhaled 2014".  This was a great mantra to live by as I continue to try new things, remembering the past, seizign the present, and working towards the future.

Hello 2014

Hello 2014!!!!  

Now is the time for a new year and a new me right....WRONG! I don't hold myself to this typical template nor do I make a list of resolutions, but instead I will continue to embark on my personal journey for destined greatness. 

In an effort to better myself, I have decided to develop this blog- with the encouragement of my little sister and support from a few great friends this is my very first post.  On that note....let me introduce myself and the future contents of my blog.  I am GT graduate with a master's degree in FORENSIC PSYCHOLOGY, currently working at a local children's mental health facility.  I enjoy reading, eating (not cooking), turning up, traveling, and trying new things.  So for the next 12 months I hope to expose my readers to these things and more.  I hope to spark a conversation and make you think and reflect, touching lives where I can even if it is in the smallest way.

Evenstill, who knows what this will really turn out to be. The struggle of life is real and truthfully, I have no clue what I am doing! LOL, but I'm sure it will be fun so stay tuned for the journey :)